The Day’s Tally

I’m tired
So tired
Drag out of bed
Thirty minutes on the
bike despite it all
Sit with the droll
tax guy
We don’t owe!
A good result
and the moon is
lovely tonight
My wine is sweet
Tomorrow is another chance
I reckon I’ll be fine
in time

Most Every Night

In my dreams I rage
a vicious
rage the enemy
right in my face and
I warn him seething
eyes ablaze that I will
snap his fucking neck
He retreats a pace but
won’t go away and
I awaken chest aching
from the strain
Pull the heating pad
over my heart
Try to breathe
most every night

A Tale of Water

I was afraid of it then
The water
I would jump in the
shallow end of the pool
standing straight up
as if on a pogo stick
My feet planting on the
bottom while my head
stayed above
until once it didn’t
My feet shooting from under me
trying to grab air with my hands
certain I would drown until my
mother pulled me up
The Navy later cured me
of my reticence
and now I fear it anew
Not for the lack of air
but for the memories there
waiting in the deep

Daily Dose

Hard exercise is a tonic
for my post-traumatic life
and like most medicines
I don’t take to the
taste of it and
oh, to ditch the warm up!
But this older model body
has told me with no uncertainty,
stretch before or tear during
Despite the nuisance
I feel better after
grimacing and choking
it down
the muscles
are nice

Vigilance (PTSD)

I am the very soul of perhaps
There must always be an out
Ever wary of ambush, some trap
Escape must never be in doubt

These are things one learns in war
and around violent kitchen tables
Head on a swivel, eye on the door
where peace is naught but fable

A child is born – a warrior made
Innocence does not suit the field
A determined heart and well-honed blade
for those who would harm to feel

A Day In The Life

What a day
what a day,
this brain
crawled away
to some dark
without trace
of where
but it’s
sending back
from the front,
no chance
of relaxing,
from some
I can’t see