Tag: Humor

Poetic Udderance

There comes a time –
Let’s say it’s now
when it’s fine to rhyme
said the studious cow

So I thought it over
and said I’ll try
and the cow ate clover
while I penned these lines

And the sky was blue,
The fat clouds, white
And I sang “I’m through!”
to the cow’s delight

The End

Classifieds

Are you weary of your mind?
You can try mine!
It’s not new but I swear
I don’t use it
much these days
I’m confident enough
synapse remains
connected to convey
you across town
To the grocery
Or the liquor store
with a bevy of new
twisted memories
to absorb!
I charge the going rate
and not a penny more

Miscreant

There is no end to
my wicked ways
Often have I worn white
after Labor Day
Drinking a bottle
of Cab a night is
commonplace – I’ve
read that’s bad
And I begin sentences
with conjunctions
And I do it a lot
Because I write thoughts
like I speak

Generally speaking

I’m a miscreant

The Thing About Mustard

It is impossible

Apparently

to have an errant
mustard squirt without
collateral damage
This substance is
Quantum Theory
in practice
Everywhere
at the same time
Appearing
wherever you look
Put on gloves to
clean it up and
somehow
it will be on your elbow

Quite tasty on ham though

Again

The big stores were the
big winners

Again

Convinced us that to spend
was the best way to
win friends and influence children
so I did

Again

And now they’re gone
without a peep
till next year

Again

And I’m sitting
home fighting the
need to sleep for a week
and yes
You guessed it

Again

But the little dresses
were amazingly cute
and the smiles
priceless
so I think
next year I’ll
do it

Again

My Hillbilly Shows (Crowing)

I wrote a good ‘un
thismornin
honest to god
you shoulda seen it
it was sumthin
and I hadn’t even
had my coffee yet
but folks are busy
you know what with
Christmas comin
and all so they
didn’t pay it
much mind
but it was sumthin
I’ll tell you that

Somewhere Under The Rainbow

The reason for rainbows
surely is not
to mark the spot
of a hoard of gold where a
temperamental leprechaun
of old stands watch

or is it?

I’ve never been
to a rainbows end
nor stood in
Roy G. Biv’s
spectral glow
and dug a hole
perhaps

why I’ve seen no leprechauns
and have no gold