Tag: Humor

Somewhere Under The Rainbow

The reason for rainbows
surely is not
to mark the spot
of a hoard of gold where a
temperamental leprechaun
of old stands watch

or is it?

I’ve never been
to a rainbows end
nor stood in
Roy G. Biv’s
spectral glow
and dug a hole
perhaps

why I’ve seen no leprechauns
and have no gold

Uh-oh

Recent delving into my ancestry
yielded a sobering discovery

Death runs in my family

It’s definitely genetic
Mom dad and brother
all came down with it
and not only that
It runs as far back
as I can track it
So
the big splash I was
set to make in 2128
will have to be slated
a bit sooner

A Word Apart

I have an insatiable
fondness for the word
assuage
It flows from the tongue
like the gentle stroke
of a lover’s caring hand
Effortlessly
a whisper even
when spoken aloud
and its meaning
true to its
sound
We have few such sublime
words around
and I trust
this poem has
assuaged
any doubt
in your mind

It Begins (The Price of Joy)

It’s glitz and glamor
Behold the clamor!
All sadness you’ll end
if you
spend
spend
spend
Buy a Lexus
for a friend
or someone else dear
and out in the kitchen
there arose such a clatter
It’s not St. Nicholas you hear
That sound is the pounding
of my head on the counter

Pekingese Paradise

When I peel open
the American Cheese
their little butts get to squirmin’

And no they don’t care
that it’s not really cheese
They’re not known for their learnin’

So now you’re aware that
a Peke’s paradise
comes by the slice
and satisfies every yearnin’

How Now Lowbrow Cow

My aunt Janie raised
beef cattle for a living
in West Virginia
I spent a few summers up
there helping out when
I was younger and something
she said stuck in my head –
that a Holstein was the
dumbest cow alive.
Now, try as I might, for
the life of me I can’t
arrive at what kind of
bovine behavior could
clearly brand it as the
“dumb one” among its
cud-chewing kin.
My aunt has passed
so I can’t ask and
it’s troubling my mind
What do they do?
Miss the door and
face-plant into the
side of the barn?
Do they try to climb
on the tractor and
crow at dawn?
Stare directly at the
sun until blind?
Sit down to pee?
It’s a mystery
to me – I find
myself in a
cow conundrum
Drifting through
the great unknown
of dairy cow conduct

Some Days

Some days scream
for a martini
dirty and wet
as the rain on a
November Monday
Stan Getz and
Bill Evans
dueting on
vinyl while the
drops patter on
the panes

Such a shame

There is no
martini

But there are
worse fates than
escaping with a
glass of wine
instead
And if it
all goes
to my head
I just might
be better
for it

Fix

I need some words, man
I need ’em real bad.
I’m days without a poem
I’ll take what you have

They don’t need to rhyme
Some near rhymes are fine
or a watered down limerick
to help ease my tortured mind

You gotta’ help me, friend
I’m dying, near the end
Toss a couple verse my way
and I’ll pay you back again